It's hard to not don a Chicken Little outfit and run around the city warning people of the computer apocalypse developing right before their eyes. Geez, don't you people read the news for free on the Internets?
Some sort of "mystery virus" has infected the computers at the FBI and U.S. Marshals Service. Did anyone swab their USB ports and test for swine flu?
Neither agency was willing to reveal much detail about the event, but based on recent vulnerability management performance reporting on federal agencies, both law enforcement groups may have contracted the Melissa virus from 1999. I'm kidding, but they should really stop clicking on those little blue linky things that keep coming to them in emails while they're surfing for porn.
Also in the news is a distributed denial of service attack against DNS in China that left millions of Chinese users unable to resolve domain names to IP addresses, rendering them unable to evade the Great Firewall of China to watch You Tube videos and rue over how inadequate they are compared to glorious American male adult film stars.
Is their DNS held together with twine and broken twigs, tied seven layers high on the back of a bicycle? How can a DDOS knock the country out if the attack is at only one location?
Inquiring minds want to know.