Shopping Cowards

With all the economic misery hanging in the air like a oily fog, what are the rich folks supposed to do when they feel the need to feed their consumerist monster?

One of the latest trends is discreet shopping.

Special salons or boutiques have sprung up that allow guests to splurge in anonymity, because no one wants to be branded as insensitive when the peons in the unemployment line see you strutting past with bags from Gucci, Prada, or Tiffany & Co. to load into the back of your limo.

There are also "invitation only" events being staged at hotels and conference centers where high-end wares are on display, awaiting a financial bailout package of their very own. Chic women carrying small dogs could very well be the economic stimulus this country needs right now.

Not only are these scions of society not taking up valuable space in the workplace, they are also filling unused hotel rooms, using banquet services, and keeping alive a tradition of opulence that will be sorely needed when all of these poor people stop being on the news all of the time, and we can get back to what's really important...shopping.