It's a John Madden Christmas

If you're former Oakland Raiders coach and current Sunday night football broadcaster John Madden, how would you decorate your tree for the holiday?

Using turducken ornaments!

If you're a regular Gecko reader, you've seen my references to the turducken, that poultry catastrophe engineered by stuffing a chicken inside of a duck that you then cram inside a turkey and roast into one humongous, greasy conglomeration of gelatinous protein.

But back to decorations! The turducken ornament would be great for Madden, since when he broadcasted the Thanksgiving day NFL games for years, he would speak relentlessly of the turducken, trance-like as if he was in a Plymouth pilgrim wet dream of meat and fowl, going so far as to draw crooked arrows and vague bird-esque figures on the Tele-strator.

The turducken ornament is available for order now, so get one for your friends. And two for your enemies.