Spin That Old School Vinyl With USB Style

So you have a waxy stack of Journey records, or perhaps some Bananarama. A fan of REO Speedwagon and Def Leppard, but no turntable on which to spin your old school vinyl?

Worry not, you party animal. The Linos USB record player is here.

There's no mention of the sound quality, so take this whole thing with a grain of audiophile salt. I'm not sure this device is marketed toward hardcore sound enthusiasts in the first place.

I went to high school with a guy whose senior yearbook snippet included the concept that distortion was worse than death. So there's that.