Obama: hey you rich pampered fuckers - we are the only advanced democracy that allows people to die because they are not rich to afford blue crosses motherfucking premiums!
Congress: [standing ovation]
Obama: sit the fuck down
Obama: you can die from motherfuckin’ acne!!
Congress: [standing ovation]
Obama: meanwhile employers can’t afford to buy this wonderful insurance which sucks anyway
Obama: some crazy Leftists think we should be like Canada - but we ain’t no maple syrup eating lumberjacks!
Obama: so maybe we should retain the status quo
Congress: [ standing ovation, applause ]
Obama: get your asses down
Obama: we have done a lot of work and there is that lazy ass motherfucker Max Baucus
Baucus: grrrrr
Obama: hey stupid people - I'm going to repeat this we're going end preexisting conditions, expand coverage, and quality afford colonscopies!
Insurers: up the ass again - awesome
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