Friday, September 11, 2009

Bobblespeak Translations: Obama's Health Care Address to Congress

This is actually more entertaining than the actual address, but just barely.

Obama: hey you rich pampered fuckers - we are the only advanced democracy that allows people to die because they are not rich to afford blue crosses motherfucking premiums!

Congress: [standing ovation]

Obama: sit the fuck down

Obama: you can die from motherfuckin’ acne!!

Congress: [standing ovation]

Obama: meanwhile employers can’t afford to buy this wonderful insurance which sucks anyway

Obama: some crazy Leftists think we should be like Canada - but we ain’t no maple syrup eating lumberjacks!

Obama: so maybe we should retain the status quo

Congress: [ standing ovation, applause ]

Obama: get your asses down

Obama: we have done a lot of work and there is that lazy ass motherfucker Max Baucus

Baucus: grrrrr

Obama: hey stupid people - I'm going to repeat this we're going end preexisting conditions, expand coverage, and quality afford colonscopies!

Insurers: up the ass again - awesome




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