Sarah Palin's Real American Stories Sucked

I'll get you, my pretty. And your little dog, too.

Gawker thinks Queen Sarah's new show on Fox was underwhelming:

Well, she's not going to be the next Oprah. Big surprise here, but no one liked it. Not even the Daily News. Some of the words used in reviews of the show: "overly-scripted," "flat" and "boring." The results are in!

Perhaps an old LL Cool J interview was the glue intended to hold the whole show together, and when LL objected to having a pre-taped segment from yesteryear presented as Palin material and the bit was dropped, the SS Sarah veered off rudderless.

When critics opine that Palin makes goober-in-chief Mike Huckabee "seem like Jerry Lee Lewis" by comparison, it's time to begin scratching your head as you wonder what exactly Palin brings to the table besides big hair and canned pander.

Perhaps Palin and Ollie North could team up on a program that would essentially involve nonsensical arguments chasing each other around the studio amid a backdrop of angry spittle and legal defense funds.