News flash, people. Pets have assholes.
Certainly, dangling the equivalent of a Christmas tree ornament from your pet's tail because you're mortally embarrassed by Buffy's brown eye raises serious questions about your fitness to care for another creature.
My dogs walk rapidly around the back yard, sniffing like Courtney Love in an awards show ladies room, until they find the perfect spot, where they commence to lift their tails and grunt out a Nutro burger.
The real indignity isn't that they poop - it's that they lay on the floor in a warm house, gnawing on a bone, while I stumble around in the cold with a modified hoe scraping their droppings into a carrying vessel for transport to a special "poo-can" for later disposal.
There's no pet accessory made that can cleverly cloak that reality.