Being A Veteran Sucks

When I received my honorable discharge from the US Army in 1982, having successful completed my enlistment with all of my limbs and most of my sanity intact, I was proud to join the brotherhood (and sisterhood - personhood?) of American veterans.

Proud of my service, prepared to finish out my obligation in the Individual Ready Reserve, I used the pre-Reagan VEAP educational benefits (a very turdy $2 government match for every $1 I had saved) to attend college in preparation for my post-military career.

My first clue that being a vet wasn't all wine and roses came upon my release from service. As Reagan launched into his plan to rebuild the country militarily, one of the first things he did was to end the practice of honorable discharged veterans qualifying for unemployment compensation to ease their transition into civilian life.

That was a bummer, because unlike someone working at their local Wal-Mart, it's a little difficult to write cover letters and schedule interviews when you're deployed in some remote location, eating c-rations and wiping your ass with pine cones. Still, I ventured on, comforted by the fact that I was starting at Penn State in the fall, and I was pretty sure I could pick up a part-time gig to hold me over. I thought it was lousy for them to change the rules like that, but being in the military really prepares you for being screwed personally if it helps accomplish the mission.

The second shot across my bow (go Army, beat Navy) came even before I started classes, when I received notice from the Selective Service that I needed to register with them in order to be considered for need-based financial aid. I was certainly in need, what with no full time job and no unemployment compensation, but I pondered what this meant. I was already deeply rooted in their system as part of the IRR, with their requirement that I keep them posted of any changes to my home address or status, so they would certainly be able to find me in the event the needed a disillusioned E4 who was remarkably out of shape within months of my discharge.

Why did I need to be thrown into the fishbowl with everyone else who had been partying and living a carefree existence while my strapping carcass was freezing in Korea, sweating in the hot Texas sun, and eating sand in the middle of a remote Utah desert? Not to mention the occasional rapid excursions to certain unnamed global hotspots that need to remain, well, unmentioned.

I thought to myself, "God of the dumb, take me quick," and registered, deciding that avoiding jail and collecting a Pell grant were good options for an unemployed 21 year old college student. Between my IRR status and being registered with Selective Service, I was relatively certain that if any crazy world leader so much as farted in the direction of the United States, I would be back in the pickle suit so fast that I wouldn't have time to object. Besides, it was my own fault for signing up in the first place, but I only had two years of IRR remaining before I was free at last, free at last.

Why am I telling this story? There is a point, I promise.

Because of the Iraq and Afghanistan conflicts, quite a few soldiers are getting screwed in ways I never thought possible. From stop-loss to involuntary recall, fine service men and women who had done their duty honorably and completed their service are being forced to continue their military careers against their will. I realize that the fine print points out the Uncle Sam can snatch you back whenever he has the need. That doesn't make it right, or serve to honor the commitment of our brave warriors.

So it was with seething anger that I read today the story of a 50-year old veteran from Murfreesboro, Tennessee, out of the military for 15 years, and the proud recent recipient of an AARP card, who was incredulous when he received notice he will be deployed to Iraq.

What does it say about our military and civilian leadership when things are in such a SNAFU that our country needs to pluck someone out of their safe, comfortable existence almost two decades since they last served?

Paul Bandel, who worked on missile systems during his original enlistment, can't understand why he's needed after all this time. The last missile system Bandel was trained to operate is no longer used by the military.

Perhaps I'm missing a key component here. As part of the coalition of the willing rebuilding the Iraqi military, maybe we're beginning by installing some 1990s antiquated missiles to get them started.

It's like when your parents buy you a guitar or something - they want to make sure you're going to stick with it before they invest any serious cash. There are a lot of expensive Gibsons laying around collecting dust, so maybe Dick Cheney is being all cranky and parental and won't sign off on modern weaponry until those damned Iraqis start getting better grades and stop hanging out after school with anti-American cleric Muqtada al-Sadr.

Regardless, Bandel will see his income drop in half, and everyone in his family with have their lives completely disrupted when he deploys to Iraq in 2010.

There has been an enormous amount of poor planning and execution on behalf of the US Government when it comes to Iraq, and continued instances like this only serve to ensure that the children of our veterans will be deprived of parental guidance during their formative years, in stark contrast to the loud-mouth Conservative movement leaders squawking at every opportunity that a family with a mother and a father gives a child the best chance to succeed.

Wouldn't it be sadly ironic if there were fifty vets who could fill Bandel's billet, but who had been tossed from the military under its draconian "don't ask - don't tell" policy? I wonder if conservatives would consider allowing gays to serve in the military if it could preserve the nuclear family back home.