Saturday, November 22, 2008

"Butt Bandit" Nabbed

Police in Valentine, Nebraska (pop. 2,650 - salute!) believe they have nabbed the perp who has been greasing up his but-tocks and pressing them against windows throughout the small burg.

Sometimes using lotion, other times petroleum jelly, the 35 year old male suspect had been the scourge of Valentine, a town known for having people from around the world mail Valentine's Day cards to them so they can be post-marked with "Valentine" on the envelope. If that's the main industry, I can see why there's some extra time to press the flesh.

The suspect, while caught in the act, has not yet been charged, which seems somewhat confusing. Perhaps police are arranging a cheeky lineup or dusting for additional prints, since there was concern that copycat imprinters had begun to make their rounds.

One interesting note is that the window stamping halted during the fall and winter months, which seems to be related more to self-preservation than a fear of George Costanza-like shrinkage.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Please tell me what you think.