What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

Teachers in the Harrold Independant School District in North Texas are getting ready for the start of the school year. They're packing bottles of white Elmer's glue. They're packing chalk and erasers. And they're packing heat.

That's right, my friends, these chosen few, these band of brothers, will be permitted to bring concealed firearms into the classroom this fall. There seems to be much tooth-grinding and knuckle-gnashing over the fact that the school campus is close to an interstate highway, thereby making it a prime target. There are 110 students in the district.

Since I have a pretty extensive background in threat identification, risk profiling, and attack landscapes, let me go out on a limb here and surmise that this little speck of ig-nert in Te-jas was probably so far off the map of likely targets that until a group of hee-haw talkin', pickup truck drivin', Toby Keith worshipin' crimson-necks decided that Smith & Wesson was just as important as War & Peace, thereby shining the bright light of the global media machine on them, the chances of an incident occuring for which the correct response would be a gunfight at the OK Cafeteria were somewhere between slim and none.

I'm not surprised, though. In an episode of the Family Guy humorously dubbed "The Fuck You State,", the Griffin family dog Brian learns that anyone can get a free gun along with the purchase of liquor.

Truth is sometimes stranger than fiction. Too bad it's not that funny.