A Thanksgiving Letter from Helen

This is the best of all worlds - a Thanksgiving letter from Helen, one of my favorite cranky bloggers from Margaret and Helen, listing things we're all thinking but don't have the balls to say.

Helen, however, has the stones:

This year I am thankful to have you as my family rather than a normal American family.  I say that because Sarah Palin is fond of talking about her family being a normal American family.

Last time I checked everyone in my family knows where Africa is on a globe. Everyone goes to college after high school.  We’ve had no teen pregnancies as of yet and no one has appeared in Playgirl.  If the Palins are a normal,  American family, I guess my bunch of anti-American socialists are fine by me.

A couple of items from her list:

If I see one grandchild doing that texting stuff, there will be no pie for dessert.  If I see one parent checking email… scratch that – new rule.  Leave your cell phone in your car.  They used to be called mobile phones for a reason.  Now-a-days the only thing mobile about your phone is your thumbs.  Trust me.  Skinny thumbs and a fat ass are not a good look.

 And:

Honestly, if you insist on bringing anything, bring some butter.  I go through about 20 sticks to get this meal on the table and I might as well start stocking up for Christmas now.

Happy Thanksgiving, Helen. May your dreams come true.

Image via Wikimedia Commons