Jizz - The Nail Polish To Match Your Necklace

Let's say you've created a milky-white nail polish and you want to market it to all the hip chicks who don't mind walking around all day with skank fingers.

What would you call it?

If you're Kristin and Valerie of BleachBlack , you'd call it Jizz. Of course you would.

$12.95 seems a little steep for nail polish, but as men will tell you, some things are just impossible to put a price on.

Via The Awl

SlickDeals Tweezer Fail

Is it worth paying 39 cents with free shipping for tweezers?

How about entering a 19-digit code at checkout to get the deal? That's a little over 2 cents per digit, for crying out loud.

And what's the carbon footprint on shipping my cheapo tweezers, anyway?

Laptop Burka

There have been some stupid products marketed to computer users over the years.

Now there is one more.

The laptop burka allows you to hide the shame and humiliation that comes with sitting outdoors with a sheet over your head while you type away on your Dell.

In case you're wondering, yes, it would get very hot under there. Instead of a Dell, perhaps you should invest in a Panasonic ToughBook in case multiple drops of sweat fly off your nose like tiny liquid ski jumpers headed for your keyboard.

As Scott Adams said, “There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot.”

Via Dvice

Barbie Makeup for Adults

When I heard that Tony Romo had broken up with Jessica Simpson on the day before her birthday, my first thought was that he was a bit of a cad. Who picks the day before a birthday to drop the hammer?

Then I heard that J-Simp was planning a Barbie-themed party, and that sealed the deal for me. No self-respecting NFL player could ever survive in the locker room once he attended such an event, regardless of whether he was asked to portray Ken.

At some point, it's time to grow up and leave the toys of youth behind. At least that's what I thought. Mattel seems to be of a different mindset, driven by profit, no doubt.

The toy congolmerate is launching a line of makeup, targeting adults aged 25-40, called "All Dolled Up," because what grown women doesn't want to come off as a plastic, superficial object enjoyed by tots and tweens, face eternally frozen into an age of indeterminate youth?

One of the first sentences my young son learned was, "Barbie is sexist crap!" Perhaps now that he's nine, we should have him give Mattel a call.

Mattel Launches Barbie Makeup Line -- For Adults, via 5 Blogs Before Lunch

Image by Gallerygal via Wikimedia Commons

Poop in the Box

There's really nothing to add here.

 Available at Firebox.com.

h/t to Forever Geek

Mean Greeting Cards

There's an under served niche in the high-stakes greeting card business - those of us who have a difficult time caring enough to send the very best, but still want to drive our point home in a passive-aggressive manner.

What better way than a mean greeting card?

I would find it humorous to receive a card like this - someone went the extra mile to give me something special. But I can see how these heavy-stock judgements might cause the wheels to come off an already shaky friendship.

You have to admire the spunk of the designer. Jobless and nearly bereft of cash, she finds her fortune in mocking both the sappy greeting card industry and those who mail their products instead of being a real friend by telling them mean things to their face.

Mean Cards , via Neatorama

Soapy Brass Knuckles

If I'm in the shower and have a need to brass knuckles, they had better be made of brass and not rapidly-softening bath soap.

I'm really struggling to understand this product conceptually.

Prison: Don't Drop The Soap Knuckles , via Geekologie