The Shame

Oh, McRib. You are one saucy bitch.

Don't Fry Gnocchi

Via BoingBoing

Wrightsville Beach Diner

Anyone have a favorite diner in Wrightsville Beach?

I'm talking about the kind where the hash browns are crispy-crunchy, the coffee is strong, and the staff is not your standard cast of tourist trap characters?

Spinach Ick

I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. And they put it in a jar.

Bra Rice Farm

I get that space is tight in Japan, and finding fertile agricultural area can be problematic.

But a rack of risotto? Basmati boobs? Don't even get me started on sticky rice.

Has anyone ever seen an instance where fashion meets foodstuffs and the result is better than when they were separate?

This is bad news. Rice is high in carbohydrates, and my triglycerides are bad enough without bobbing for breasts.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go water the garden.

Pant a garden...in your bra

Image via Kitamura/Getty

Amazon Strawberry Day

It's apparently humongous berry day at my corporate cafeteria.





Looking forward to my strawberry roid rage.

Anatomy of a Goldfish Cracker

Moist Production

Hot Fudge Sundae Garbage Burger? Sure, Why Not?

Even though I've been known to chow an insane burger or two in my lifetime, I wouldn't even attempt this monstrous garbage burger. My cardiologist supports that decision.



Serious Eats

Chinchillas Eating Raisins

Has the Internet become specific enough yet?

Serious Eats

Don't Boycott AriZona Iced Tea!

AriZona Iced Tea would like you to know that they're based in New York, thank you very much, so when you're looking to punish the jackholes that are behind the "May I see your papers, please?" immigration legislation, leave AriZona out of it.

You are permitted to enjoy a refreshing AriZona Iced Tea while protesting, which I would find deliciously ironic.

Apparently George Lopez used AriZona Iced Tea in a joke, and for the first time ever, people though something Lopez said was actually funny enough to share with friends. What with Twitter and everything, the humor spread like an Arizona wild fire, much to the dismay of AriZona Iced Tea, who felt the need to issue a press release to tell the world they're from Long Island, dammit.

There are other companies based in Arizona that are fair game, though. U-Haul, Cold Stone Creamery, PF Chang's - a partial list is located here.

As far as AriZona Iced Tea, try the ginseng tea. It'll give you something from which to hang your protest banner.

Image via Wikimedia Commons

The Art of Eating Sunflower Seeds

Instead of embedding this video, I should be starring in it. I go through a bag of David's seeds every two days or so while I'm sitting on boring-ass conference calls.

Enjoy. And remember - you will respect the seed!

Bob Evans Gravy Machine

Hi. I'm the Skeptimist, and I have an unhealthy relationship with Bob Evans sausage gravy.

This doesn't help.

I may put one of these in my car.

Via Geekologie

KFC Double Down Chart - How Many DDs in Your Lunch Choice?

With all the outrage (real and faux) over the KFC Double Down, let's see where the typical American lunch offering falls within the chart of shame.

I'm actually in pretty good shape, relatively speaking. The only two death-wiches on the list that I eat regularly are the Chick-Fil-A chicken sammich and the Wendy's Spicy Chicken (which I get with lettuce and onion only).

I'm suddenly more confident that I'll survive at least until the end of the month.

Via Geekologie

Steakhouse XT™ Burger Did Me Wrong

Mrs. Skeptimist had late meetings today, and the little Skeptimist and I hadn't terrorized our city with a 'boys night out' for awhile, so I let him choose the locale.

Burger King. Gahhhh.

We're trying to pack the calories into him right now, so it was a good choice for a frenetic nine year old. For a middle-aged dude watching his diet, it was like being eviscerated by a muskrat.

I sampled the Steakhouse XT™ Burger, since I had previously partaken of other BK offerings and found them all wanting. Wanting flavor. Wanting subtlety. Wanting to look something like the sandwiches we see on the TV box.

Let's see if I can find the correct words to describe the XT: a char-grilled slop-turd between two corn-dusted bathroom sponges. Yeah, that works.

The XT was thick in the way lead ingots are thick. Dense and impenetrable, like an NHL hockey puck that's been flame-teased and slathered with a runny ketchup-mayo glop that was in a race to soppy with the irriguous tomato slices.

Lettuce coated the top like a veggie-tarpaulin, its sole purpose seemingly to act as a moisture barrier to prevent the bun lid from disintegrating while I gnawed on the beef-biscuit.

It was not good.

How the hell can people line up for this detritus, day after day? It's 770 calories, 1380 mg of sodium, and 46 grams of fat, just for the fucking sandwich. That's more than half my salt and fat allowance for an entire day, not to mention over 1/3 of my calorie budget. If I was Lewis Black, I would now scream, "And it tastes like shit!"

I love my son, so the next time we go out, it's gonna be something a little more healthy. Like the dumpster behind the pet store.

The King has that peculiar facial expression because he just finished his meal and immediately shat his tights.

Olive Garden Cheese Constipation

Encyclopedia.com defines fonduta thusly:

fonduta Italian (Piedmontese); dish made from Fontina cheese and truffles.

Why do I get the feeling that the Olive Garden version lacks a certain...truffeliciousness?

Image via flickr

Video: What's in a Twinkie?

Via Serious Eats

Peepza - Peeps on a Pizza

Wow, this looks wonderful!

My God! What happened to this inside the oven? Oh, the humanity!

Via Serious Eats

Why Does A Salad Cost More Than A Big Mac?

Can you say government intervention via subsidy?

Via The Daily Dish

The Meat Solution

Isn't this the answer to almost every problem?

And I thought the Alabama Hot Pocket was bad

This looks like something one would need twilight anaesthesia to have removed from their colon.

In reality, it's a Taco Bell Cheesy Double Beef Burrito stuffed sausage roll, wrapped in bacon.

Ick.

Via Neatorama