Is Roethlisberger A Dirty, Dirty Whore?

So says The Poor Man Institute. And he makes quite the compelling case. He also takes on the Hicksville, GA district attorney for his little press conference.

DA Fred Bright:

Everybody, I think, could be criticized for their actions that night. I hate to use this pun but I’m not trying to be a Monday morning quarterback. But there was too much drinking going on. If he were my son, the best way I can answer that is, ‘Ben, grow up. Come on, you’re supposed to stand for something. I mean, you’re the leader. You should be a role model. You don’t need to put yourself in this position anymore.’

Which position is that, Fred? The one where you've spread a drunk coed's legs apart in the bathroom of a bar? But wait - PMI has the appropriate mixture of outrage and snark:

Now we know his drinking habits offend the DA of Hicksville, GA, and that he is a shameless toilet tramp. These are certainly not the sorts of qualities a young gentleman should seek to cultivate, but none of them are really remotely comparable to rape or assault, nor do they require swift and sure retribution.  (None of them are really comparable to lying about felonies, either*.)  If someone goes around raping people, that person should be put in jail.  Rapists don’t need to “grow up”, “be better leaders”, or “not put themselves in these positions”, they need to go to prison and stop raping people, and rape isn’t a situation where you can criticize everyone for their actions that night.  If, on the other hand, someone just goes around getting hammered in nasty Georgia skank bars and touching drunk girls with his trick-ass pee-pee in the piss-stained bathroom, A) do not ever, ever, ever talk to me about this and say it is “sports” “news”, and B) don’t offer it up like it’s the next best thing to proving a rape.

I'd be feeling relatively hopeless about any possible consequences on the horizon for Big Ben and his objectification of women, except he plays for the Pittsburgh Steelers. I grew up in Steeler country, and have been a fan for more than forty years. One thing is certain - the Rooney family would rather eat half of a $102 million contract than to be embarrassed by this moron for the next five years.

Look for the Steelers to give Ben some time away to contemplate what a scoundrel he's been, and expect double-secret probation for the rest of his contract. One false move, a single slip-up, and Steeler Nation will cut Roethlisberger off at the knees.

If you have any doubts, call Santonio Holmes.

Here We Go Steelers - 2009

Is it too early to crank up a song for 2010?

The Terrible Towel Changes Lives

The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette has an in-depth look at the history of Myron Cope's Terrible Towel.

I've written briefly about the backstory of the Terrible Towel here, but if you're looking for something a lot more detailed, the PG article is a must-read.

Image by Daveynon via flickr

Steelers Case Mod

I think this is cool, but my oldest son would have a Tomlin-gasm if he saw it.

This Steelers nation case mod glows bright gold in the darkness, much like the Kenny Rogers Roaster's sign did to Kramer in an old Seinfeld episode. I'm not sure my son would suffer any ill effects, given that he couldn't possibly be any more of a Steelers geek than he is now.

I'm not sure I could type on that keyboard, as it seems a bit distracting, but certainly I'd be willing to try it to be seen as a team player. Or typer.

Myron's Terrible Towel Lives On

Growing up a Steelers fan in the 1970s, in the mountains of central Pennsylvania, I witnessed the genesis of Myron Cope's brilliant marketing prop, the Terrible Towel.

The New York Times clues in the rest of the planet about the towel and the legacy Myron left behind in an article appropriately titled For Terrible Towel's, a Wonderful Legacy.

Born in 1975 from the recesses of Cope's brain (um-HA!) as a marketing ploy to generate excitement for the playoffs, the towel had a humble, Steel-town beginning - Myron beseeched fans to bring towels of either black or gold to the Colts playoff game. A simple towel might pass blue-collar muster in Pittsburgh, as they were functional and utilitarian in a manner that pom-poms or pennants could never be. Can you imagine a season ticket holder with a pom-pom in one hand and a cup of Ahrn Shitty in the other? I didn't think so.

Yoy! The concept caught on, the Steelers won their second straight Super Bowl, and soon the towel was both trademarked and mass produced. Yea, verily.

It was an interesting story for a teenager of the 70s, but it wasn't until I lived as an adult in Pittsburgh from 1985-1993 that I learned the other part of the story.

Myron held the trademark for the Terrible Towel, okel dokel, but also had a son who was diagnosed with severe mental retardation at age 2. Danny Cope would require 24 hour supervision, so loving father Myron worked with the Allegheny Valley School to provide the care and attention Danny needed.

In 1996, after four Steelers Super Bowl victories and the sale of hundreds of thousands of Terrible Towels, Cope handed off the Towel trademark to the school in an act of love and kindness that speaks volumes about Myron as a man. The school has received more than $2.5 million in funds from the trademark since 1996.

Nearly 1 million of those dollars came from sales around the Steelers 2005 Super Bowl win over dem Sea-hawks, and it's conceivable that similar sales will be posted should the Black & Gold come out of the Arizona Cardinal game with their sixth trophy.

Help Myron's legacy live on through providing Danny and others with the care and services they need. Pick up a Terrible Towel or three this weekend, and display them proudly. It will be good for America.

Santa Annoys Steelers Coach

In his weekly press conference, Steelers coach Mike Tomlin was probably already leaning to the Grinch side of things following Sunday's drubbing by the Tennessee Titans.

It was probably a poor decision by local broadcaster Bill DiFabio to reprise his annual visit as Santa, and if he didn't get the hint that he had worn out his welcome via the repeated audible sighs directed his way by Tomlin, perhaps Saint Nick can stuff some situational awareness in Bill's stocking this year.

According to SI.com, Tomlin originally went along with the gag, to the point where he invited DiFabio to the front of the room in Wahoo-burgh. But when Shecky DiFabio went on for over five minutes with a stand-up routine that took shots at the Cowboys and Browns along with cracks directed at his fraternity of broadcasters, Tomlin decided that enough was enough. Yoy!

He even tossed a football to DiFabio, lamenting "If that will get you out of here."

I'm surprised Tomlin didn't pull a "Slinging" Sammy Baugh, when Baugh grew tired of a defensive lineman jawing and taking dirty shots at him, so he instructed his offensive line to let the joker through on the next play.

This was in the days of leather helmets and no face masks, remember.

As soon as the ball was snapped, the defender broke through with a roar and began to gallop directly at Baugh. Baugh remained calm, seemingly looking downfield for an open receiver, and seconds later turned and delivered a perfectly-spiriling rocket right between the eyes of the charging tackle, knocking him out colder than an Alaskan cod.

Between the loss to the Titans and Santa's faux-pas, I would hate to be the Cleve Brownies this Sunday. Umm-HA!

No! Not the Clavicle!

Steelers backup QB Charlie Batch broke his collarbone during Friday's exhibition game victory against the Philly Iggles. Bad news for the home team. Charlie has been a steady fill-in for the oft-injured Ben Roethlisberger, contributing mightily since coming aboard in 2002. In a league suffering through a dearth of quality signal callers, the Steelers were fortunate to have expertise in both the starter and backup slots.

Rookie Dennis Dixon came in and performed well, going 6 of 9 for thirty yards, with an additional 41-yard completion nullified by a holding penalty. It remains to be seen how the Steelers compensate at the QB position. Please - don't bring in Byron Leftwich or Dante Culpepper for a try-out. I'm begging you.