Don't Be Gay, George

Stephen Colbert: The Rev. George Rekers, this mastiff of masculinity, is co-founder with Dr. James Dobson of the Family Research Council, and he's on the board of The National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality, or NARTH, which is dedicated to turning gay people straight again. So you'll never guess who this alpha dog recently took on a ten-day, all-expense-paid trip to Europe. Unless...you guess "gay male prostitute."Clip of 

NBC newscaster: Rekers claims he was unaware the escort was a male prostitute, and that he hired him because recent surgery left him unable to lift his luggage. 

Colbert: Technically, I believe he was looking for someone to hoist his sack.

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Colbert: Honor Bound

I guess it beats a pound of flesh.

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Colbert is Right: Bears Are Number One Threat

Here's something you hope to never have to tell a reporter:

"I have a refrigerator in the garage. He opened it up, drank a gallon of orange juice, opened the freezer above and munched two frozen pizzas and snacked on frozen chicken," Philpott said. "He broke all the shelves and racks out of the refrigerator, bit into some fruit punch and squirted it all over everywhere, then dragged the trash can outside and took a crap the size of a basketball on the front lawn."

Da Bears.

Image via R.B. Boyer's photostream on flickr

Via SF Gate

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The Invention of Air

From The Colbert Report.

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Some days you eat the bear...

...and some days the bear eats you.

Stephen Colbert must be gobsmacked by this item - a sleeping bag that looks every bit like the number one threat to America - bears!

The Sleeping Bear was made for exhibition, sadly, and is not available for the hardy campers among you. Pity. I'll bet no snake on earth would attempt to snuggle inside this critter with you.