Funny But Fake BP Tweets

While we wait for BP to cap their wellhead, let's focus on the ongoing gusher of available snark.

Mystery Science Theater 3000 Glasses

These are awesome.

If I wore these every day, I could walk around making snarky comments about life and people would think I was a comedic genius.

Or they would put me in a special white jacket that ties in the back and inject me with special happy-drugs.

Either way, I win.

Via Geekologie

We Are Douchebags - NSFW

We Are Douchebags - watch more funny videos

Via The Daily Dish

I'm Doomed - Study Shows People Don't Understand Sarcasm

People who know me would readily admit that my porn star name would be along the lines of "Snarky O'Smart-ass", so this study, brought to you via The Daily Dish, leads me to believe I might be wasting my talent:

But it was Rockwell’s (2006) survey of sarcasm that I think produced the most interesting, recent findings in this area. Out of 218 respondents to her survey, 25 percent didn’t complete the question asking for an example of a sarcastic comment they remember making (perhaps 25 percent of us don’t use sarcasm?). Of the remaining 75 percent who did complete the question, only 45 percent of the people actually came up with a sarcastic remark.

An astounding 55 percent - 55 percent - of the people responding to the survey mistakenly thought they were giving an example of a sarcastic remark, when they really weren't. That's heartbreaking.

The study posits:

Sarcasm represents a difficult verbal behavior, and many speakers who attempt to use it, fail to accomplish their task.

So leave the sarcasm to we professionals. Mmm-kay?

Image via HousePlantPictureStudio.blogspot.com

Mean Greeting Cards

There's an under served niche in the high-stakes greeting card business - those of us who have a difficult time caring enough to send the very best, but still want to drive our point home in a passive-aggressive manner.

What better way than a mean greeting card?

I would find it humorous to receive a card like this - someone went the extra mile to give me something special. But I can see how these heavy-stock judgements might cause the wheels to come off an already shaky friendship.

You have to admire the spunk of the designer. Jobless and nearly bereft of cash, she finds her fortune in mocking both the sappy greeting card industry and those who mail their products instead of being a real friend by telling them mean things to their face.

Mean Cards , via Neatorama