T-Mobile Breach May Result in Zeta Jones Ass Sharing

Glancing at the T-Mobile website, their slogan is now Stick Together. I shit you not.

I guess by sticking together they mean putting a bunch of their sensitive files in one big insecure place to make it easier for cyber-criminals to make off with them?

T-Mobile is investigating reports that they've been compromised in the wake of a neener-neener big fat wiener posting on Full Disclosure that announced some black hat had made off with the jewels and was offering them to the highest bidder.

To be fair, we should all take a deep breath until this claim is either proven or dismissed as bunk. Given that T-Mobile is now answering questions from the traditional media, it will be difficult to keep this genie in the bottle if it turns out that the databases were indeed snatched and in the possession of the bad guys (or girls).

If, however, this turns out to be true, I suggest that any T-Mobile penalty somehow includes sharing Catherine Zeta Jones' ass.

Security Fix - T-Mobile Investigating Data Breach Claims , via Security Fix

Ass Towel

This probably goes a little farther than most people choose to take it, but when you stop to think about it, it's a good point. You don't want to wipe your face with the same cloth that you just used to wipe your butt.

The Ass Towel, while still in prototype form, is meant for those who might be squeamish about getting your ass stuff on your face stuff. It looks like a typical towel, but with a special blue square that you use when drying off your backside. Then, ass-suming you keep your eyes open when toweling off, you can avoid using the blue section anywhere near your face, or anyplace else you don't want to contaminate.

Adrian Monk would love this.

This sort of makes me wonder why we don't have a bigger issue with using the same towel, over and over, on various body parts. It's like Russian roulette when you think about it. It's only a matter of time before the funk hits the face.

I'm going to start making certain that key areas of my body are super-duper clean before grabbing my towel from now on. You do what you think is right.