McCain - May The Farce Be With You

Borowitz - Poll: Majority Favor Earlier Bedtime For McCain

It's funny because it could be true:

In the wake of several cranky public utterances by Arizona's senior senator in recent days, a new poll shows that a majority of Americans favor an earlier bedtime for John McCain.

Fifty-two percent of those surveyed strongly agreed with the statement, "When John McCain says he doesn't want to serve in the Senate even though he is running for re-election it makes me think he is staying up too late."

Linky

Wonder What McCain Thinks About Afghanistan?

I seem to remember John McCain declaring victory in Afghanistan a couple of years ago. So why is he so borked up over President Obama's plan?

And why are people still listening to John McCain. He picked Sarah Palin, for Christ's sake.

David Gregory has really scored big in getting the angry senior to appear on Meet the Press this coming weekend to opine on what he would have done if he had won the election, which conveniently, he did not do, which makes it much easier to throw stones from the sidelines.

John Cole over at Balloon Juice has the right idea:

I, for one, have no idea what he might say. I wonder if he agrees with the guy who kicked his ass in the last election? No way he is bitter and that might cloud his judgment- the man ran the Straight Talk Express! What a score for journalism, Mr. Gregory!

Too Much John McCain

John McCain used to be a darling of the press until the media began taking fire from those wondering why he wasn't being asked any hard questions, like the guy on the other side.

Once the other guy won the election, many thought that McCain would be the crazy elder statesman who would spend the rest of his career being wheeled out at regular intervals when people got nostalgic for the phrase, "My friends."

But the guy is everywhere, weighing in on issues large and small, and I can't figure out why.

Steve Benen wonders:

Since the president took office, McCain has been on 'Meet the Press' twice (July 12 and March 29), 'Face the Nation' three times (August 30, April 26, and February 8), 'This Week' three times (September 27, August 23, and May 10), and 'Fox News Sunday' three times (July 2, March 8, and January 25). His appearance on 'State of the Union' today will be his third visit since February (October 11, August 2, and February 15).

Not bad for a senator in the minority, who isn't in the party leadership, who has no role in any important negotiations, and who has offered no significant pieces of legislation.

Ouch.

Image via Wikimedia Commons

Who's Out of Touch - Arizona or Jon Kyl?

Republican Senator Jon Kyl has been pretty vocal with his belief that the federal stimulus program has been a waste, is not working, and should be canceled. Here's some video so I don't get accused of making that up.



Problem is, when members of the Obama administration asked the Arizona governor if she wanted to stop accepting the stimulus funds, Gov. Jan Brewer decided that it's in the best interest of Arizona to keep the stimulus money flowing in.

Never one to miss an opportunity to act dazed and confused, Arizona's other misguided son, Senator John McCain, backed Kyl's comments and exhorted the administration to "retract its threat against the citizens of Arizona."

That's a real head-scratcher there, John.

Kyl says we should cancel the funding, so the Obama administration asks the Governor if she would like to stop getting funds - funds that the Obama administration believes are necessary and beneficial. When Gov. Brewer decides to keep the money - the money that the Obama administration wants the state to have in the first place - McCain accuses the administration of threatening Arizona, even though it is McCain who agrees with Kyl that the funding should cease.

Obama doesn't want it to end. He's the one who pushed hard for it originally. It's Frick and Frack the Conservative Wonders who want to take away the funds, because they allegedly don't work - no matter what the governor of their state says.

Is it any wonder that the Republican party is in such deep trouble? They can't even keep things straight between two U.S. Senators and a governor. How are they supposed to do the complex stuff?

Bobblespeak Translation: Meet the Press

If you've never experienced the sheer joy that is a Bobblespeak Translation of a current event, well, you're a remarkable underachiever for whom time is running out.

It's not too late - check out this translation of John McCain on Meet the Press.

Gregory: were you surprised that Sarah Palin announced she’s resigning?

McCain: no she was always a major flake

Gregory: why did she quit

McCain: she didn’t quit

Gregory: yes she did

McCain: maybe but only because she was attacked when people pointed out her lack of ethics

Gregory: it seems kind of loopy

McCain: look I respected her realizing she can
best serve people by staying out of government

Gregory: will you endorse her in 2012

McCain: well you know we have many strong
young firm attractive candidates

Gregory: so you won’t

McCain: hey give me a break - when I chose her
I didn’t know she was out of her mind

Gregory: everyone knows her brief VP campaign was a total train wreck

McCain: not true she gave great eye-twinkle

image via kristykay22 at flickr

Say It Ain't So, Joe!

Joe the Plumber has viciously turned on John McCain.

Joe Wurzelbacher, speaking to certifiable stooge and wingnut conservative radio host Glenn Beck said that he felt “dirty” after “being on the campaign trail and seeing some of the things that take place.”

Let me get this straight...an alleged unlicensed plumber who claims to have a career cleaning poop and hairballs out of drains and pipes thinks the campaign trail is dirty? Amazing.

Joe claimed that he asked McCain a lot of questions on the bus, and was "appalled" at what he heard. Kinda makes you wonder why he continued to shill for McCain to the bitter end, but perhaps it's in the plumber code of ethics to go down with the ship.

Here's hoping that Joe not only finds a real job, but that he manages to find a nice, clean place to land. If Joe feels dirty, we all feel dirty.

Requiem for a Maverick

Matt Taibbi, writing in Rolling Stone, has a fascinating piece on what went wrong with John McCain and his campaign, and the Republican brand in general.

I witness the whole pathetic mess summed up a week before the election, on a baseball field in Quakertown, Pennsylvania. The campaign has scheduled an outdoor rally, with a joint appearance by McCain and Palin, at this crucial moment in the race. But now there is driving snow and sleet, trees downed on roads all around, and the campaign — with no alternate indoor plan — is forced to cancel the event at the last minute. I watch as locals keep pulling up to the field, looking for the candidate, a lonely, rain-soaked "Country First" banner whipping back and forth above the stage. The whole scene captures the essence of the McCain run perfectly: Instead of a plan, they had an endless succession of dumb ideas scrapped at the 11th hour in favor of even dumber ones.

It was like that all election season. McCain kicked off his campaign with a stump speech that emphasized his inspirational personal story and experience. Then he picked someone even less experienced than Obama as his running mate and switched to a strategy of attacking his opponent's relationships with people like Bill Ayers. When that petered out, he switched to a new line of attack, trotting out the socialism business and claiming Obama was running for the office of "redistributionist-in-chief." The McCain camp tried running against the press, they tried running against Washington, they tried running against the Bush administration, they even tried running against the "liberal feminist agenda" — the latter just a few weeks after Sarah Palin called herself a feminist.